Chunky Cercival Mucas

No Drowning into my sleepless soul

I'll be back to post my own story, among other story that I particularly like, obviously on Criminal Minds.
The story was created for the contest on Criminal Minds Forum, where I selected the prompt: Night after night I wake up shaking cause my world is falling apart.
Yes, enough angst! : D Anyway
'nuff said, voila my story, which was ranked third!

Title: Drowning into my sleepless soul
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Characters: Emily Prentiss, David Rossi
Prompt: Night after night I wake up shaking cause my world is going to shatter @ Criminal Minds Forum Contest
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds and its characters are not mine, do not have rights (but I am on Derek Morgan), this story is not for profit.
Notes: The story is set in the fourth season, but before the final episode. Spoiler throughout the fourth, for those who did not see it. Thank fra235 for his constant presence and patience! ♥

Drowning into my sleepless soul

Those who have a great awareness, great people nightmares.
Mahatma Gandhi.

I open my eyes, but I do not know where I am. The light illuminates dimly what I think is a medieval castle, having the shape of the room, decorated with a ceiling mileage. How I ended up here? I do not know, I do not remember anything, I can not seem to have a past.
I rise with great difficulty, my muscles are sore, seem to want to turn against me. My body is a dead weight that I have to drag with the sheer force of will, is not willing to cooperate, just as my instinct tells me that I must flee.
begin to run and I can almost not really touch the ground, I find myself for the dark corridors, lit only by torches here and there that oil will go out shortly thereafter, because the atmosphere is too heavy also for the vital energy of fire.
I have to stop the race when he appears before a well known figure, but I sure would not be here.
"Benjamin Cyrus? Asked with uncertainty. The man shows me his face bloodied and disfigured beyond repair, then nods and a sinister laugh echoes in the atmosphere.
"Surprised to see me, Special Agent Emily Prentiss? "Ironic, you rinse and closer to me, which loses but inexplicably lose contact with the floor, which suddenly becomes slippery.
"You ... you're dead in that explosion. You're just a hallucination. "I tell him, probably thinking that I was locked up in here who has drugged me.
"And tell me ..." he continues, ignoring my words, "Even this is only an illusion?"
unexpectedly strikes me with a knife, I have no time to defend myself. Vado to dab the wound with his hand, but it seems that the blood does not want it to stop. E 'excruciating pain, what I feel, and is not comparable to the cut that I find myself on the arm.
Where the hell are they? Because Cyrus is alive?
No, do not you impress Emily, reasons: Cyrus was blown up, you've seen with your eyes.
Armed with this knowledge, I set off down the corridor and close my eyes like a child, hoping to leave me alone, it disappears as the bogeyman of fairy tales. When I open them, he is behind me, it is gone.
"Do not Can you get away for ever, Emily. "he says simply, to evaporate instantly, like a ghost.
Start running and I stop when I no longer have breath, I find myself in a room and are surrounded by several men. William Harris, Steven Baleman, Vincent, Roderick Gless, Megan Kane, the creator of the Angels, Eric Olson ... all murderers and the team that I have captured and are now approaching me as if to swallow me, like they want to steal my oxygen until I choke. Seeking a way out quickly with his eyes, but it is a circular room and it seems that there are no doors. I'm getting closer, begun to scratch and left bloody fingerprints on me, suddenly everything becomes dark, I know ... I'm dead.

I wake with a start, while a trickle of cold sweat trickling down my cheek. I breathe the air of which I am capable and my heartbeat accelerated gradually get back to regular.
was just a nightmare, a bad dream, stupid. I crouched under the covers again, but his hands still shaking. I see clearly the face disfigured by Cyrus, and immediately I button my arm, as if the wound inflicted was tangible.
Do not be silly, Emily. It was all in your head, not real.
Maybe not, but something inside me is broken, and I do not think that will be easy to reassemble.
All that we face every day, the worst side of human beings, well ... can not take effect. We can not remain forever distant and cold, as I had promised at the beginning.
simply can no longer live around the outside, to treat him as a cold scientific case to be cut in order to find the culprit. Because there are people involved in human beings, just like me. Individuals who love, who let themselves be caught up in emotions, passions, suffering ... living.
And I can not be Special Agent Emily Prentiss, the glossy cop analyzing the situation and develop a profile.
Hell, I can not sleep tonight.
I get up and wearing the first things I came to hand. I'm in a hotel room, four star hotel and paid for by the bureau, but still a room that does not belong to me, sterile and impersonal, which does not care about anyone who spends the nights inside.
I crawl like a ghost back and forth and I think of all those people in my dream. Vincent, the first to feel remorse through a blind child who has opened his eyes. I think of Steven Baleman and William Harris, who we call the perfect storm: two complementary beings who meet an unfortunate fate of the case and give life to a storm that will leave behind only death and destruction.
Why can not I just sleep? Because my job is to take each day a piece of me, and tear it away?
I need alcohol, a glass is what you need. I can finally fall into a restful sleep without dreams, to be perfectly able to continue to address the matter to which we are working with all the professionalism that distinguishes me.
I shut the bedroom door behind them, and for a second I think I see the face behind the curtains of Cyrus. I shudder, while I try to erase that image from my mind.
was inevitable to happen, it was inevitable that sooner or later had to deal with myself that I had to take stock of my life. Evaluate what I have given and what I got. Saving Lives, however, is something that is priceless, that can not be calculated with precision positioning is something that fills your life and is the only reward for everything we see and we face every day .
go down the stairs in the dark, just like a nightmare I ran headlong into the corridor. It looks like a premonition, but is not happening frame by frame what I have lived in my head.
One thing is for sure, I'm defying the ghosts are real or not. Or maybe I'm just running away from them?
My thoughts give me pause, until I cross the desert and I sling in the lobby bar, desolate, too.
Sure, you expected? It's three o'clock in the morning.
The company is the one who made me bartender, forced to work until late at night for those customers who like me have nothing better to do. I approach and I sat on a stool, opposite the wooden bar.
"Insomnia?" He asks as he hands me the list, who politely refused because I already know where it going to end my order. I nod silently.
Bourbon, thank you. "Requires gently, running a hand through his hair and moving the fringe rebel every time I fall out of place.
The man disappears behind the swinging door that separates it from the back, to reappear again a few minutes later with a bottle looking inviting.
"Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, aged 12 years. A specialty. " says, pouring a glass full. I leave immediately soothed by the scent.
"Be kind, I prepare another." A familiar voice announcing in this way his presence behind me.
I heard her footsteps approaching me and it is well known figure taking his place beside me.
"Night tormented?" Dave tells me, sipping whiskey that our new friend has prepared for him.
"Yeah. Even yours? "I say, trying to avoid the speech.
"Yes, but my nights are sleepless from an infinite time now. I grow old, "she smiles, as only he knows do. And 'the latest addition to the team, but it is the wisest of us. One who knows how to be a pushy father, who can advise and sa morale, but is also capable of taking over the reins of the situation when needed.
laugh at his jokes, while the liquid flows down my throat, warm up to the core.
"What keeps you awake?" He asks me, nursed his glass half-empty.
Known only now that the bartender left us alone, to trust our fears.
"bad dream." Outcome, I feel vulnerable and are not sure of wanting to expose so freely.
"The nice thing about nightmares is that you can decide how to land them. Do not be overwhelmed by them, this is the trick. "I wink wink, do with his father.
"I wanted ... I wanted to die while all the killers that we have caught me stealing oxygen. I would just sleep, sleep. "I say softly, hoping that David knows a way to solve my problems. Look for a moment around him, before finding the words to respond to my desperate plea.
"Sometimes sleep and to pretend nothing is not the answer. You can not just pretend that everything is fine and continue as if nothing had happened. You raise your head and fight, no matter how much effort it will cost you. "I said gently, and it was then that I realize how the team would suffer if only one of us to leave. Because the group is more than the union of its members.
I nod and try to find the strength to go by his words.
"I wake up in a panic every night, and I'm afraid. I'm afraid that after one day I could become one of them, which one day will choose the easy way out and my world will shatter. "'s trust without fear.
"I do not do it, you've already taken the path more tortuous and you're dealing with maturity. Do not give up, do not let them win. "Rising from the stool, and affectionately patted me on the shoulder, a caress ways.
"Under the bed there is no monster, Emily." Winks me again, and then disappear over the threshold of the bar.
I leave dollars on the counter and I drink a silent greeting to the local company that has made me, to find myself again in the room with whom I have a score to settle.
But I will win.
I nestled under the duvet, I close my eyes slowly and concentrate on all the lives we saved, we did re-emerge on the truth, the passion we put into our work, day after day, case after case. I remember the families to which we responded, the lives that were interrupted they deserved justice. I think back to Aaron, Derek, Spencer, JJ, Penelope.
No, there is no demon under the bed, Dave.